George Michael

So after the wave of inspiration I was sort of not inspired anymore because I want to blog about stuff that happens, not some fiction or hypothetical shit. For stuff to happen, one needs to have an interesting life or have friends who have interesting lives. Neither of these two scenarios is applicable (not yet anyway).

As the weekend approached, my responsibility faded (I am yet to start study). Anyhoo, let’s not be Debbie Downers, thanks. Went dancing on Friday night, and despite drinking only 3 beers and 1 shot of tequila, I only got home around 5 because some friend of mine showed up and insisted I stay with him and close the club.

Fast Forward to Saturday, I went to gym and watched the amazing Les Miserables. A must see for anyone who claims to know good movies. After the almost 3 hours of sitting in one seat I craved vodka. After a few “roadblocks” I got me self a bottle of vodka and some dry lemon and the pre party was well on its way. Now I am never one to sleep when I am 25% into a bottle of vodka, now imagine 75% of the bottle gone??!!  Pretend you didn’t read the last sentence as it incriminates me because I went dancing and it is not walking distance if you catch my drift. At the place I danced and ogled a bit, not many interesting people to see. I was drunk though, not to the point of not remembering bathroom shenanigans (like that one time) but drunk. Hours kept ticking by, and the music has improved a lot at this club, so I very much enjoyed the night.

As the time goes by, the numbers decrease as well (I thought gay people are hectic party animals, clearly these value their beauty sleep more, not that you can see said beauty). Now we all have had desperate situations before, how can you not, especially when alcohol is in control of you? So this guy annoyingly flirts with me. Annoying not because I don’t like flirting, but because I wouldn’t do him in a million years.  The club was basically empty so I thought “What the hell? It is not like anyone important will see me snogging him”. Kiss, kiss, kiss next thing lights go on. And like rats being sprayed with teargas, we were quickly outside (this happened before at that place btw, I am sure it was some Christian group trying to eradicate the gays or something). Anyway ( I like going off topic *sigh*) his car was closer than mine.

Fast forward to steamed windows and next thing I hear a knock on my side of the car. “Shit! A policeman!!!” is all that went through my head. He basically opened the door at the same time as knocking (Note to self: lock car doors at all times). So as we sit awkwardly while being questioned by this random cop, questions ranging from “What were you doing?”, “you are lying, what you did was not kissing I am arresting you for public indecency”. Now at this point, any testosterone that might have built up before was gone!! Many things went through my mind like “I already have trouble with the law, I can’t be getting into more trouble”, “ I am not going down like this, nogals for kissing this guy, at least it should have been a hot somebody or a good kisser”. I kept telling this cop that we were just kissing and that I see people walking in malls kissing all the time is that not allowed? He then said I should get out (and this is where locking the car door es muy importante) and unfortunately as I got out my pants were basically falling off as I didn’t have time to button it. The hanging belt went a long way to “proving” this idiot’s allegation. I was not going to go to a police station and sign some stupid warning, the way I begged and pleaded for them to show us some mercy.

These cops just wanted a bribe, because the one even said at one point “how can I help you?” and I didn’t have money to pay them off. They eventually let it go after promising that we will never do it again (they really didn’t have to know that I made out with some boy I like in his car in the same location the week before). I just wanted to be home, but had to wait for them to leave before I could leave.

From now on I will just be boring, South Africa is not gay friendly. And lock your car doors dammit!